October 23, 2018

You Are Not Man Enough!

By Lydia Kathendu


We are living at a time where it is no longer easy to distinguish between a man and a woman because fashion has dictated it so. A season where, where you grew up at is really a matter of concern because the terrorists have had the upper hand in this. A time where “Mtoto ni wa jamii” (A child belongs to the community) is no longer the norm because today, “Mtoto ni wangu.” (The child is mine).

Above all, we are living in a time where every girl wants Mr. Right-The perfect one. But the big question is; is she the right one? I know we have had many sessions of Women Empowerment Forums but for sure, what all these forums do is to empower the woman for the cooperate world and the prestige in the society and not for family responsibilities. One is left to wonder how Mr. Right is expected to live with such a woman. Ladies are taking less time in adding value to their inner self (in readiness for relationships and marriage) and more time in putting make up on their already complaining faces. See! When you are keen on the mirror trying to make yourself appealing, the man you want attention from is busy making deals that will lead to his promotion.

I am worried of the girls of today! Sometimes back a friend shared with me how she met a lady. The lady was in a short white dress and under it, she wore a red pantie. Yeah! I know the question you are asking-how did she know it was red? Well, quick one! The dress was white and light and had no lining. Answered? Good. Now, when my friend told the lady that her dress was so revealing hence should look for a long coat and wear, guess what the lady told her! That she didn’t care after all, it was her dress. Sad thing is that, the lady was with her boyfriend who didn’t look so comfortable around her. Question is, isn’t it just bad enough to skimpily dress and expect your man to say ‘I do’ to you after you have shown the whole world your inner wear?

Some ladies are expecting their guys to not only be protectors but also sure providers yet those ladies cannot do the simple things such as cook or even iron clothes. They cannot fathom the sight of babies or just do something as simple as fixing a button with a needle. Seriously, ladies are expecting so much yet giving so little.

Our mode of dressing has moved from wanting to worrying. Our behavior is no longer suspicious but pathetic! Just the other day I met a lady in a group of guys, she was smoking. Tell me, which man, who understands the risks of smoking especially to ladies, would love being her husband? Our ‘don’t care’ attitude has moved several notches higher and this is disturbing! Again, remember the ‘My dress My choice’ thing sometimes back? Did it occur to any lady that how you dress says volumes about you? See, even if you were jobless and you dressed up officially, you will get a nod of respect wherever you go. But even if you were a C.E.O and dressed like a party animal, be sure that wherever you go, you will be treated as so-party animal! So in reality, it’s not all about you.

The bottom line is this; if you expect the best, you’ve got to be it. If you expect to have a friend, you have to be one. If you need a man enough, you got to be a lady enough. A woman enough to deserve that man. They said that ‘tit for tat is a fair game’ right? Well, in relationships this is so true-especially on the positive bit of it anyway. The Bible is categorical  about this-“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38.

Ladies, step up your game! You don’t deserve what you can’t give. If you need respect, start by respecting yourself. If its love, start by loving yourself. If it’s appreciation, appreciate yourself first. With this, you will not have to force those around you to either respect, love, appreciate or value you.

Be a woman enough and you will not struggle finding a man enough.

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